Marilyn (Rough Draft)

Krystall Fasel

English 101

04/27/15

Rough Draft #2

Marilyn Monroe

A Personal Narrative

“Then off to Saks for a bulky sweater, terry-cloth three-quarter hooded beach jacket, a blanket, a large towel for those peek-a-boo shots, and a sexy bikini. I did not buy Marilyn any undergarments—she never wore them.”

-George Barris ‘Her Life in Her Own Words, Marilyn’

The first time I watched ‘Gentlemen Prefer Blondes’, I believe I was 15 years old.  Being a blonde girl myself I instantly fell in love with the movie.  Followed by me watching, ‘The Seven Year Itch’, and ‘Some Like It Hot’. I watched them on old VHS tapes and I marveled at how glamorous it all was. These actors and actresses back then had to be multi-talented. They had to sing and dance along with remembering lines. ‘I could never do that’, I thought to myself. ‘I could never be that talented or that beautiful’. There she was, Marilyn Monroe. Dressed in pink. That was my new favorite color, I decided that right there at that moment. I started talking about her. Caring about her. Looking up facts, reading books.  Always wanting to find an autobiography, or a better biography then the last. Searching antique shops to find any little thing that was different from what over processed box stores had to offer. This girl had survived so much in her childhood.  She had been passed around from family members, abandoned by her mother and finally placed into foster care.  Never once harboring hatred for those that abandoned her, always forgiving. Always left just wanting to be loved. Her foster family did not care for her properly and she suffered many forms of abuse.  From family to orphanage, to foster care, to family again. She never had a stable life and she lived a life of broken promises. In order for her to free herself from this pain she married at 16 years old.  It was only as she got older and started being allowed to find herself that she realized what she wanted from life.  She fought hard every single day to prove her worth.  It was in modeling that she realized her true potential. She chose to abandon her job and her husband to peruse something for herself, something that she wanted. Most people look at her and think she’s just a blonde girl, living on beauty with the world handed to her.  I see so much more.  She gives me strength.  I myself had a very rough childhood, and I see strength in her, in the hardest moments, she never gave up. She did her best to prove she was worth it.

“Those things the press has been saying about me, are fine, if they want to give the wrong impression. It’s as simple as all that. I’m not interested in being a millionaire. The one thing a person wants most in life is usually something basic that money can’t buy. I’m not the girl next door—I’m not a goody-goody—but I think I’m human.”

-Marilyn Monroe

Quote recorded by George Barris ‘Her Life in Her Own Words, Marilyn’ page 137

My mother bought me a book for my birthday. I read it. She bought me another book for Christmas and I read that one. I was reading not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I started searching antique shops for more information. She had started her career as Norma Jean Baker, a model. Maybe I would get lucky and find some really old stuff. Searching through an old antique shop in Port Orchard the store clerk found me on the floor going through some old magazines. I’m sure I looked a mess covered in dust sitting on the floor.

“Can I help you find something honey?” She asked me.

“I was hoping to find the old ‘Life’ magazine from 1952 with Marilyn on the cover, or even old pictures from ‘Family Circle’ or ‘Blue Book’ an old ‘Photoplay’?” Hopefully I looked up at her.

She smiled at me. “We don’t have anything like that here honey. Try some of the shops in Seattle, we do however have a few books.”

She led me over to a book shelf where she pulled out ‘Marilyn: Her Life in Her Own Words’. I bought the book without hesitations. I was thrilled. In it were photos, journal entries. The best book I’d found so far. Excited I raced home and began to read. I felt like I was sitting in her bedroom with her, interviewing her myself. She had me hooked. Me and everyone else.

Searching antique stores in Seattle, I did get lucky a few times. There were some places that had old Marilyn memorabilia, and over the years I’ve found even more. There was a store in Santa Cruz, California that had an abundance. All findings were completely out of my price range. Being close to these artifacts did make me happy though. Reading more about her and collecting magazine articles over the years completely filled my house. There’s something about her strength that makes me want to be strong.

“I’ve tried to imagine spring all winter—it’s here and I still feel hopeless. I think I hate it here because there is no love here anymore…”

-Marilyn Monroe 1957

‘Vanity Fair, November 2010’

‘Marilyn’s Secret Diaries’

Obsession  grew, secretly wanting to know everything. I was given, as a gift, some very private photos of Marilyn. At 19, I framed the delicate photos with extra care and hung them on the walls of my apartment. I felt like every story I read, every quote and every photo put me just a little closer to her. I began to try and follow in her footsteps, almost to every hip move in the way I walked. Not just because every man wanted her and every women wanted to be her, but because she had survived so much. She took every negative thing that ever happened to her and turned it around. No matter how bad things got she still wanted to do her best. After researching and reading everything I could get my hands on, I began to make my own opinions. Her pain came from within her own body. She wanted more than anything in life to have her own children.  Her body however could not reproduce. She was unable to carry a child after conception. It is rumored by many that she had repeated abortions although that is only rumor and the truth is long lost.

“Marilyn’s final hospital stay was just two weeks before she died, when Dr. Krohn operated on her once again endometriosis. Speculation that this hospitalization episode was for an abortion…seems unlikely, in view of her enormous desire to have children.”

-Adam Victor, ‘The Marilyn Encyclopedia’

Never having my thirst of knowledge quenched, I have searched for every last book. I take meticulous notes on one author to the next. Comparing stories to see how accurate they are. Pretending sometimes that I could have lived in the same era. Memorizing the lines from her movies, the words to her soundtracks and smiling though the darkest days. It is in my opinion, after the many books that I have read, she overdosed on her own medications which is what finally killed her. Like so many famous people that we all know, Michael Jackson, Anna Nichole Smith and so many others, prescription drugs not controlled can be deadly. In her time, doctors were not on board with each other and often times diagnosed her and prescribed her with different prescriptions simultaneously, not knowing there were other doctors involved with her diagnosis.  She was chronically sick with colds, pain, and gynecological problems, always on more than one medication at a time. She also very much enjoyed drinking alcohol. The combination proved to be more then she could control.

“The thing I want more than anything else? I want a baby! I want to have children! I used to feel that for every child I had, I would adopt another…”

-Marilyn Monroe

Quote recorded by George Barris ‘Her Life in Her Own Words, Marilyn’ page 131

Having a ‘Marilyn’ day of my own. Wanting to feel wonderful and enjoy the good weather, I went shopping on a sunny day. I came across a few antique shops finding nothing to favor. Staying positive I tried ‘Goodwill’. They have a very fun section of ‘Vintage Clothing’ that I always find something to favor. Sometimes finding things my grandmother would have worn, sometimes something my mother would have worn. On this particular day I came across a very special sweater. It was very familiar to me, as if I’d seen it before. Mostly cream, with brown, stripes. Knit with a tie around the waist. I put it on over my own clothes. Normally not something I would do but I was falling in love with this sweater. I bought it and brought it home. There were no tags on the inside but I knew the sweater was special. Only coming to me later did I realize that it was almost identical to the sweater that Marilyn wore in the photo shoot with George Barris.  I know it’s obviously not the same one, but when I ware it on cold days I feel warmer. It’s also my favorite sweater to wear to the beach. Pretending to be like Marilyn, playing in the waves. I still search high and low for more books, more stories, and more photos. I know that she is enormously famous, people around the world know who she is. She has been written into songs, poems, and been inspirational to artists all over the world. She has started trends, been a generational sex symbol that all others look up to. She is featured in literature, movies, on cups or shot glasses, in fashion magazines today. To me, she is a little girl just wanting to be loved. Wishing for all the love in the world to fill her heart. Only in death did she finally achieve that, death beat her but could not take from her, her one true wish. To be eternally, forever loved.